Haircuts, Footsteps and Applesauce

I have mixed emotions as I sit here tonight. First, I have to say that I'm definitely in no hurry for my boys to grow up...the time is already going by faster than I could have ever imagined it would. But I'm having a feeling that is somewhere between envy / jealousy / embarassment / worry. I'm not really sure how to describe it. What prompted this strange feeling? Let me explain...

I have a first cousin who writes a blog and a sister-in-law who writes a blog. One has a little boy a month older than my twins and the other has a little boy who is 6 weeks younger than my twins. Irony struck me when I saw the titles of 2 recent posts. One was "Walking and Haircuts" and the other was "First Haircuts and Other Firsts". Of course each one was accompanied by adorable little pictures of them sitting in the barber chair. I thought it was funny that they had both written about their little guys' haircuts, and a little ironic because my husband and I have been discussing how our boys are gonna need to get their hair cut soon. But it also made me think of other firsts and milestones that my boys haven't reached. Both of the previously mentioned tikes are also already walking. I NEVER wanted to be one of those moms who compare my kids to everyone else's, and believe me, I'm in NO hurry for them to walk (then I really will always be going in 2 different directions) or to grow up. Even though I know that sometimes twins develop differently and can sometimes be a little behind singletons, I can't help being a little concerned. Its not a competitive thing or a pride thing; I don't really know what it is. But I just want the best for my boys and never want them to feel different or inferior to anyone else. Obviously they're too young to know what that even means, but (being the worrywart that I am) I can't help but think about the future and how they'll feel if they have to deal with stuff like that. In my brain I know they'll all catch up and everyone will be more or less equal, but my heart doesn't always pay attention to my brain. My hearts looks at the fact that they aren't walking yet, they don't say many words (real words at least), and they're much tinier than other one-year olds. The size thing really bothers me. They're in the zero percentile - I didn't even know there was such a thing! I'm sure I'll write more about particular problem later...we've been having food issues! Who knew that MY kids of all people wouldn't want to eat!?

Finally...

So I’m FINALLY officially starting my blog - I’m writing my first post! This is really the second time I’ve tried. The first time was two days ago…I had the whole thing typed out and ready to post. To make a long story short, the whole thing got deleted. But I digress…

I actually started working on my blog a couple weeks ago. I created my account, came up with the title (which was the hardest part) and found the background and layout I liked. That whole process took a little longer than I thought it would, mostly because I’m just an indecisive person who over thinks everything! The decision to even start a blog took over a year. My thoughts had always been “I don’t have anything interesting to write about” and “No one would want to read about me”. But when my cousin recently started her own blog, I started to really consider it again. Then I had two major revelations. First, I actually DO have a little bit to write about. A year ago I had twin baby boys, so needless to say life is never boring! And this was after almost 6 long years of trying. We never pursued any type of fertility treatments, we just waited…and waited….and waited. But God’s timing is not our timing and He gave Eli and Jonah to us when it was right. (Thus the name of the blog.) Second, I don’t think I care if anyone reads my blog; at least no one I personally know. In fact, I think I would have more freedom to express my truest thoughts and feelings if the only people reading were nameless, faceless web surfers from afar! (Which is one reason that I’m only giving my blog’s name and web address to 3 or 4 people in my own life.) And I’m sure there a more than a few people that can relate to or have in common several things that I will be writing about (more about that later).

I’ve kept a journal since was 15 and my 10th grade English teacher made us start one. As time has gone by, I have written less and less, but I’ve always enjoyed putting even my most mundane thoughts down on paper (or in this case, into the wide open world of cyberspace). My writing is not the most eloquent or riveting, and I tend to be wordy and use a lot of run-on sentences. Sometimes I ramble on and on, as you can see from this very long post! But please don’t let this dissuade you from reading my words because one of my hopes for this blog is to reach people who have similar life experiences as myself. Besides the stuff I‘ve already mentioned, I’m going to include some other things about me that I call “Tidbits About Me”, which you can get to by clicking on the tab at the top of the page. Of course I welcome anyone, but if you know anyone who has twins, has been going through infertility, or just likes reading blogs, please direct them here! The website is www.blessingsdelayed.blogspot.com. This is not to say that my blog will be deep or thought-provoking. In fact it will mostly be just everyday thoughts and events.

Wish me luck with my new adventure in blogging! And please come back for a visit!